User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 52; The original WildDick

A Roy episode. BEGIN THE METER!

Guilty
Off to a start, Ollie starts insulting Roy.

Poor stupid Roy Moment: 44

I peed myself a little, cause this is gonna be good! So Oliver and Roy must defeat the deadliest threat in Starling... The Mexicans. Roy must become OverWatch if he wants to help. Damn, I should be playing Overwatch, not reviewing Arrow. Well Oliver learns the gang was killed. Oh damn, it's Vigilante! Oliver decides whoever did this is a vigilante, and Roy knows who did it... THE EPISODE ITSELF! It even left its title. So Paco is missing, and 86,000 Pacos are in Starling. This isn't good. Oliver doesn't want Roy on his team cause Roy could die. Dude, Roy could die at being a teacher assistant for preschoolers. Oliver and his Chinese mentor must somehow defeat China. White. China White. Defeating China is almost as silly as saving China. So Oliver gets his ass kicked and he heads after the guy/ the guy gets ran over and the message on him was missing. Maseo decides to pick on Oliver's brain to find where the envelope is. So Laurel's teacher kicks her ass, and Laurel looks like a douche in her boxing gear, it's amazing. So Laurel goes on a date with her coach while Roy asks if Felicity can 'test his blood.'

If you know what I mean... He thinks he has Mirakuru in himself, cause he thinks he killed Sara. Again, I laugh. So Oliver heads out to find Paco, and he learns where the guy is. Dead. Also, the episode did it, and he learns it was in the gym. He immediately blames the gym owner because fuck you, and Laurel says Ted didn't do it, it was impossible for him to do it. Oliver believes her, despite her crime of stopping a riot. Well Roy learns he has no Mirakuru. Felicity wants to know why, and he tells her why... He thinks he killed Sara. He remembers killing someone. Laurel says Ted couldn't have murdered the guy, cause she was with him the entire time. Again, valid reason. Also, fun fact, watching this episode makes you see a certain someone. So Laurel says that the guy doing this is trying to frame Oliver, and Oliver is angry when Laurel won't let him interrogate the guy.

Fuckin Laurel, defending Ted. But trust me, I'm gonna rant on him. So Akio plays the Why game with Oliver, the second worst game ever. He then plays the worst game ever, a matching memory game. So Tatsu goes all racist on Oliver, which is not cool, and Maseo says come on, Oliver can't be blamed. Blame Waller. If you could. So Tatsu says Oliver can't be having fun at all. So Diggle says Ted is a former boxer named Wildcat, and Oliver wants to see Wildcat, saying whoever beat them was with brass knuckles. Ted is also a southpaw... Just like the killer. Oliver goes after Ted, thinking he's up to bad news. He finds a new dead body and learns Wildcat was a vigilante. Damn, now Ollie feels useless, cause Wildcat was doing this before him. Well the two battle, and OLIVER USES A BOXING GLOVE ARROW!

Points: 6

Damn, great way to use it. So Wildcat mentions he was small time, and says the guy doing this is setting him up for murder. He says he gave up after the death of a drug dealer, and says no one knows about this. Oliver also says his is bigger. How petty. Well Oliver doesn't like Ted, and you know, neither do I. Let me get to this soon. Well Ollie wants Laurel to stay away from Ted, and Ted bitches about it. Too be fair, Ollie is judging a guy who murdered someone pretty hard. Also Laurel outs Ollie as someone she dated. Meh, kind of douchey, but Ollie is kinda being douchey. Also he tells her to stop using her rage to hide her misery.

Well Ollie wants backup, but Roy can't come, Felicity says so. She says Roy could have done it. Damn Felicity, bad timing. So Diggle comes in and Ted acts jealous that Ollie has friends. So the real killer comes in, shooting the gang. Ted says they are better, and the guy says he trusted Ted before he betrayed them. Ted is arrested for the crime of being a douchebag. A crime I agree. Laurel is pissed, and Oliver says he didn't call the police, saying Ted knows who did it. Roy decides to tell the truth... The CW's greatest fear. Roy says he killed Sara. No one can make any sense of this. It's stupid. Almost as stupid as Thea being mind controlled and killing Sara.

Well Felicity says he coulda done it, and Laurel is pissed. Felicity says Roy could have done it, and no one understands wtf is even going on, and so am I. Oliver says that they need to busy themselves for now to understand WTF is going on, so find out who this guy is. Oliver wants to know if Roy did it. Felicity will try. Also, everyone is really quick to blame Roy, so...

Level 9: WHY SO WEENIE MODE ACHIEVED!

Tatsu makes Ollie remember while Lance is angry about a vigilante murdering people. Meanwhile, let him masturbate to a photo of Oliver. Laurel wants to know who is framing Ted, and Ted refuses to tell. Laurel chops his balls off, and he decides to tell her. A former protege of his who killed. Wildcat fired him, and he was tortured by the gang of the guy he killed. Now this, my friends, is what I've been leading too. Wildcat... IS AN ASSHOLE!

Wildcat has a no kill policy, alright, I can get behind this. But your protege didn't murder a choir boy, he murdered a drug dealer. He ditched him immediately! For all you know, the drug dealer almost killed Issac, and it was an accident! YOU FUCKED OVER YOUR FRIEND SO DAMN QUICKLY! He broke the rule, and instead of teaching him or even understanding why he did, YOU FUCKED HIM OVER! Well your friend got tortured cause of it. Nice to know you didn't help. 'Oh, he didn't know' fuck off, he still quit his job. He let those fuckers drug God knows how many kids and kill people. He gave up because his protege killed some scum bag. Grow a fucking dick Wildcat! You are a coward who ran away. Having a no kill rule?! Fine, great, I can respect that. But you're reaction to someone breaking it would make Batman find you childish! You are a loser, a bastard, and an awful friend and mentor. You are also a BAD INFLUENCE ON LAUREL! He's teaching her to use rage! Maybe that's why Issac killed him, cause the pressure GOT TO HIM! Constantly being told to use your rage and anger may make someone a little fucking angry! Wildcat, suck my dick you self righteous asshole who preaches non violence while teaching everyone violence!

I needed that. His self righteous behavior was bothering me. So Issac comes back, saying he was tortured. Ted, and i'm not joking here, sounds like he gives no shit Issac was tortured when 'apologizing'. So Issac calls out Ted for mentoring him yet betraying him. He has a point, and I can't help myself from agreeing with him. He may be evil by holding Laurel hostage, but by god, he's morally better then smug ass Ted. At least he stopped more crime then Ted ever has or will. Yeah, cause if he just went after those gangsters and Ted... I would be on Issac's side. Kinda sad, huh? So Issac is kicked out of the car, and Oliver saves Laurel while Ted runs away. FUCKING TED! SUCK A HORSE DICK! So Roy battles Issac almost killing him, and Issac says Roy will be betrayed by Oliver in any second he does something wrong. Roy defeats him, and asks Oliver to never abandon him. Oliver promises to never abandon him. Until episode 17, when he totally abandons him.

Oliver tells Ted to leave Laurel alone, and I agree. Ted is a cunt. Ted tries to act smug, and Oliver calls him out. Oh damn, seeing Ted sad makes me smile.

Points: 7

Oliver has a huge moral high ground to Ted, despite killing people. He never betrayed Roy the second he messed up, and by God, he messed up! So Oliver says he cares about Laurel. Oliver tells Roy he will always be his friend, and they should call him Arsenal. He also believes Roy isn't Sara's killer. He decides to help Roy by searching his mind, instead of Ted's 'KICK HIM OUT' Policy. Roy remembers he killed a cop, and Oliver never wanted to tell him. Roy feels awful, and unless most situations, this will come back. Roy feels shitty, and walks away. Poor... Poor Roy. So Oliver finds the dead drop, and it's a little message in an image. It's to contact someone. Oliver thanks Tatsu, and she wants him gone. Hey, blame Amanda! So Ted.... Fuck, can't Ted just fuck himself? Laurel is there, saying he isn't to blame, and wants to learn more about how to be the red lantern of anger.

She straight up asks to be a vigilante, and after remembering his past mistakes... Says okay! Fuck. Ted. So Issac is taken to jail when the cops are killed, and the killer, is Cupid.

Score: 7. Pretty good, but could be better. https://youtu.be/3suGfhnT2Sg

MVC: Oliver, for trusting Roy, and beating up Ted.

MSC: Ted. Did Issac cross a line? Yes. DID YOU HAVE TO BE A DICK?! NO!

Thoughts: Oliver really shines here, showing how good a mentor he is to Roy. Ted, is the opposite, and makes things worse. Also, nice to see Cupid. I wanted her since season 1.