User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 49; Travel fees are a bitch

Oliver shows Batman what up when he shoots some mofos with a gun.

Corto Maltese
Well we see the past where Malcolm tells Thea they can go anywhere. She suggests a candy store. Also she wants to know how to fight. In the present, Ollie shows how to fight crime by making traffic even worse then ever to catch some goon who saw the attack. He says all he knows is she was killed. Felicity is angry, and Ollie says screw off. She does find out where Thea is. Corto Maltese! Ahh man, thank god the episode knew. Ollie says he is ready to find his sister. Roy agrees, and heads out to get his bow to help. Ollie says what the fuck, you can't bring a bow to an airport.

Poor Stupid Roy moment: 41

Diggle says he will kill any boys who flirt with his daughter. Well, now he will kill any girl who flirts with his son. Lyla asks if Diggle quit again, mocking him. Lyla says that Diggle should help Ollie deal with Corto Maltese. She wants Diggle to deal with it, as a friend. Diggle doesn't want Sara to be special. So for a show with great fight choreography, they have shitty boxing choreography. Laurel asks if the head boxer is a criminal. He says nah, and acts like a dick. He says that everyone who boxes is an angry psychopath who wants to beat people to death. I doubt that very much. He does give her a flyer. Well at Matlese, Ollie, Roy, and Diggle head out to find Thea. Ollie finds her in 10 seconds flat.

Oliver: Do you know anyone with a lesbian haircut?

Everyone: Yeah, up there.

Also, nice touch to make her fake name Mia. Butt kinda weird to give her the name of a prostitute. So Malcolm sees him, and remembers how he played a fun game with Thea. Slapping the water. Eww, no dad should do that with his aught ear. So he pours hot water on himself, and does so to Thea. Father of the year. Well Thea is a waitress, and sees Ollie. Thea proves that she too, has weird new powers. Also, she and Ollie have some rather... Awkward dialogue. Basically summed up as

Ollie: Umm... Wanna come home?

Thea: Umm... Nah. I dunno.

So Thea remembers how she sucked at water boiling, while Ray sexually harasses Felicity. Felicity tells him to stop being a perv. He also tells her he gave her a bitch slave. Felicity also tells Ray that terror bombings are cool when she does it. Ray also gives her an awesome office with a stupid Q webface. Ollie and Diggle pretend to be spies. Diggle is almost knifed by a nice guy, and he tells him he is banging Lyla. So the two head out while the guy tells Diggle how someone is able to know who is related to any ARGUS member. That's bad. Almost as bad as how Laurel tells everyone she is an alcoholic with a murdered sister. Remember when Sara was murdered, and everyone was pissed that Laurel took over? Yeah. Well one of her friends tells everyone she is dating an abusive boyfriend.

Akward. Laurel mentions that he has to go down, but sadly you can't use evidence from an alcoholics meeting, even if it is true. So Laurel has to become the crime fighter. Diggle and the ARGUS agent head out to find the evil meeting when Diggle figures the guy is evil. Thankfully, Ollie is there. However, he is unarmed and battling an agent with an Uzi. The guy escapes with the stuff he needs. Roy heads out to see Thea, and she is pissed to see Roy. How dare he come back after she left him. Roy feels bad for lying to her, and she says she wouldn't leave a city cause of him. Who cares about him?

Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 42

Thea says she can be herself here, and no one lies to her here. Yeah right, no one tells you about those 3 weeks where you had that awful Alex haircut. Malcolm sees Roy go off, and he admits to Thea in the past that he must be a dick. He begins to kick her ass. No offense, but this is like... Lesson 4. Diggle tells Lyla about it, and she says they can find them. Well Felicity gets called by Diggle and Laurel to deal with crimes. While Ray is there. Man, being Felicity in this episode must suck. A stalker on one side, and ungrateful assholes on the other. Ollie decides to tell Thea the truth. He and Eddie are dating. Also he is the Arrow. Diggle warns him he will lose Thea, but Ollie says it can't get any worse from here.

Laurel heads out to deal Justice by fighting the abusive boyfriend. She... Horribly fails. It's... Not even funny. It's just sad. He just kicks her ass and walks away. Wow. Lance comes to see her in the hospital, asking WTF. Laurel says life sucks and her life is one of the top million in the gutter. Lance wants to talk to her, but she refuses. Lance tells her to cool down. Well Ollie heads out to tell Thea the truth. No more lies from himself. He tells her of how the 5 years were awful, and he did some horrible shit. Like how he saved some people from drug dealers. Or how he saved a boat of people from a crazy psycho. Or how he stopped some guy from killing everyone in China. Awful things. Oliver says that Robert was always better then Malcolm, and that's why he hid the secret.

He tells Thea how Robert died, and it's a very nice and touching scene with a hint of sadness.

Points: 6

Oliver also tells her that he has even more, and is ready to tell me all. But first, he has to stop an awful green filter. Well he guy heads out to give some shit to HIVE. Also, he is sweating like crazy. Diggle and the gang head out with Ollie full of gear. He also made it from the hotel room. Huh, cool.

Points: 7

Also, a third gang appears. They fight the guys, with Ollie revealing he knows how to use a gun. He is... The green gunmen. Diggle helps fight crime while Ollie and Roy defeat the private army. Diggle defeats his guy while the rest defeat the others. Well the guy tells Diggle how he betrayed ARGUS because he hates Waller. Malcolm disapproves when Thea wants to go home, and battles him to go home. Also, Malcolm let her win. What a nice guy. Or not. Ollie feels sad that Thea won't be coming. When she comes. Ahh damn. Ollie comes back home to see Laurel wants him to help her train. He says no.

Points: 6

DUDE, LAUREL IS GONNA FIGHT! You can't stop her unless you arrow her. So train her as best as you can, or she will die. Oh wait! Well Diggle heads home to see Lyla acting like a mommy. Daww. Laurel wants to fight. Also, Ray shows he has some evil tech gear. A Blue beetle suit! Nah, that would be silly. So Roy tries to insult Ollie but backs away. Ollie and Roy speculate on how Thea has changed. Somehow, someway. Also, Nyssa is there. She also seems pissed.

Score 6: Slightly above average https://youtu.be/6YMPAH67f4o

MVC: Oliver, for getting Thea out of her funk.

MSC: That abusive husband. Beating up Laurel was mean. At least kick her some more.

Thoughts: Thea is back, and blacker then ever! We get some flashbacks to Thea's training which went nowhere, but we do know Malcolm and ARGUS are up to some stuff, and also Nyssa should be fun.