User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 38; Guess who's coming for Dinner?

I 'Promise' I will get back to doing these.

The Promise
So Ollie tries to be like his friend Clark Kent and kill Slade with his laser beams. Instead, he just eyes him. Slade tells Oliver that he is voting for his mom because he genuinely believes she is a good politician who will help the city. That, and he wants to show Oliver he can kill her in .3 seconds. He even brought Australian booze to show he's such a nice guy. They all drink to friendship with Slade thinking of how he shall slaughter all of Ollie's friends with a well placed mine up each ones ass. He 'subtley' brings up all the time Ollie got fucked over while Ollie dreams of killing trees with wood. Evil irony. Who's the real monster, Oliver? So he works out, and seems to have gotten better, with even Slade telling him he's doing much better.

So Slade and Ollie plan out how to defeat Ivo's men while Sara makes medicine in case of danger. Ollie wants to destroy the Mirakuru, with Slade agreeing. They burn all they have, with Sara asking what's next. Sara tells Ollie he has to kill Ivo before he weasels up to Slade about the info of Shado. I agree, Ollie doesn't need an crazy evil superpower Ninja Australian as his enemy. Which is why he is his enemy. Wait what? So they all drink to friendship, mirroring how the beginning was fake to the real. Oliver tells Sara if he dies, that he got character development. She asks the same to Ollie. So Ollie heads out to see, oh shit, he's crazy too. He sees Shado, who tells him she's dead, and she is a wee bit pissed about it, and she kills him with bad editing. But it was a dream!

Hey, if this was season 5, that would have been her from like, Earth 2... From the past. Thanks to magic. So the 3 head out to kick ass while Anatoli and the others have fun gambling. So Ivo gets a new test patient while he asks some Doctor to help his dying wife more. Ahh, I feel so bad for him... Oh wait, he's still scum. He still killed God knows how many good people for his crazy quest. Plus, how would his wife feel about getting the Mirakuru to live... Or more importantly... That he was hanging with a young busty blonde for a whole year?

So that's when Ollie sets fire to... Random wood. Thankfully, Ivo has a fetish for burning wood, and tells his men to go grab it for him. Ollie battles some of the goons... Nah, he trips. Just... Wow. I mean, he did it on purpose... But come on. Anatoli is less then impressed. Ollie finds a rat on him, which makes him use hotel reviews To give this boat a 1 star out of 5. One of the guys, a priest, tells of how Ivo kidnapped him. Wow Ivo, a priest? That's just over the top goofy evil. So Ollie is dragged in, and drugged with truth serum. Meh, I find ropes do it better.

So Slade laughs of the joke about Moria suffering, and when Moria asks about any children, he remembers how just last year, he fathered some bastard named Grant. He also says the woman he loved died. Ollie tells him to move on, and wants Slade out of the house. When Moria leaves, Slade and Ollie battle with Slade saying Oliver won't die yet.... He wants to meet his hot sister. Slade checks around with the house, acting like the wacky neighbor next door instead of a man ready to gut everyone in there like a fish. So Ivo has the drugs work on Ollie, who tells the truth. But it seems he barely got anything from Ollie, who tells nothing but lies. That Oliver, even when he's telling the truth, he lies. Or because Sara gave him lying drugs. Lying to Laurel gave him practice.

So Slade and Sara jump on to the boat, with them on, and ready to kick ass. Ollie kicks the guards ass, and gets his bow and arrows from Sara. The two work together to kill Ivo and his men. So Slade looks at the paintings back home, who calls the gang, and this causes Sara to hear Slade. You can see just from her face... Oh fuck, they are so screwed. Sara and the others move out, with Sara telling them they need to be prepared. Sniper, Roy, Sara, and Feicity has enough sass to kill a bull. Sara frees everyone, and is thanked by one guy by being strangled. Must be how he says thanks in his country. So Slade kicks all the ass, with the Pirates eventually running away. Smart move.

So Ollie kicks ass just as well to show he can. Ivo calls his wife, probably wanting her to pick him up. Seems she has bad memories cause of... Diseaseitis. Or maybe she's just being a bitch? Who knows! So Ollie has the guy in his sights, and wants him dead. Ivo says it isn't his fault, he just murders innocent women. Too bad Slade overheard. Well... Fuck. Slade is a wee bit pissed to learn Ollie is sort of to blame for the whole thing. Ivo tries to weasel his way out, with Oliver saying Ivo is a liar liar pants on fire, and his pants may be on fire. Slade says fuck it, and decides to kill the both of them.

Because the boat sucks, it decides to crash into the island. The prisoners battle the Pirates, with Anatoli kicking ass. Ollie saves them when Anatoli is out of bullets, with him telling Sara Slade knows. She wants them off the island, with everyone else agreeing. They retreat while Slade grabs Ollie. He Bitchslaps Ollie around and shoves him in his cage. Slade takes control of the boat by squishing the head of the captain. When a guy takes a bullet to the gut and goes 'meh'... He may be tough. So Diggle is as a sniper while Felicity has hacks all over the place, Sara gets to a secret spot, and Roy heads off to challenge Slade. The entire gang is all set... And they are so fucked from the start. They shake hands... And Slade is really trying not to break it.

When Slade sees Sara, he kind of goes 'DAFUQ' but goes back to being all happy. Now he wants Sara just to burn alongside them. He sees how things are, and says he needs to hit home. Oliver decides to walk Slade to his car, while Diggle is ready to shoot... When he's knocked out by someone. Slade and Oliver argue with each other, with Slade telling Ollie he has his men take out Diggle, but he shall live. Oliver wants to know what Slade's goals are, and he tells him it's simple. Revenge. He drives off, probably planning to do donuts in his drive way. The dick.

So the castaways head back to the island, where Ollie is grabbed by Slade. Slade shows Ollie that while he hates him, he's still below Ivo on his shit list. It also seems he saved the Mirakuru, with placing it full of rocks. Ivo tries to blame Ollie, and Slade hands him his gun. He wants to see how Ivo shot her. He does... And Slade cuts his hand off. Ollie tries talking sense to the crazy man, who has none of it. Tends to happen when you are crazy. He plans to torture the two. He's ready to show them hell.

So Ollie heads home, where his mom kicks him out for being so rude. Slade has cameras around the house from walking around, from the living room, to the bathroom! He... Doesn't plan to use that one.

Score: 5. Average, nothing more, nothing less https://youtu.be/ussCHoQttyQ

MVC: Anatoli. For being so damn funny.

MSC: That one prisoner guy who strangled Sara. How rude.

Thoughts: To say Slade being at Ollie's place is boring would be an understatement. Nothing of substance happens in this episode beyond the obvious, and is only saved by how cool the boat fight scene. Slade and Oliver's battle though, is now prepared.