User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 17; The one where I get pissed off. A lot.

Oh dear god... The Bitch is Back

The Huntress Returns
I have a theory, that someone who works on this show not only hates Huntress, but he hates fans of her. That's not only why she was created, that she keeps on coming back to have us rage. Most likely. But hey, that's just me. What do I know, I write a stupid set of reviews on a wiki about a superhero show on the CW. Let's actually get to the episode.

So we see a strip show (I actually hate these. Who wants to see half naked women prancing around while you're surrounded by dudes, and you can't even touch yourself? What's the point? Use the Internet!) where some fat guy goes there, and we see Helena in the Halloween version of her outfit doing what all women due to star in a superhero show... Wear almost nothing. She kills him, because he's a part of her dads group, and rides off in the bitchmobile. So Hall and Oliver see the bar, which looks rather nice. Also they get some rapper I have never heard of. No joke. So at Laurels, Lance apologizes because Laurel surprises him with River. (She's River, get over it!) Lance is horrified. She's both his ex wife, and he despises the reboot Doctor Who. She explains that she thinks Sara survived, while Sarah's corpse is used as a door stopper for some Chinese chef. She has a photo of Sara, and Lance has a freak out.

I can see where he is coming from. She is bringing up a possibility, that if it fails, will just rip him apart. So he runs away, crying not only after Sara, but because she reminded him of that Doctor Who movie starring Paul MchGann. Oh come on, it wasn't that bad... Even if the Master had stupid superpowers. So Thea heads out to see Roy, who calls her a bitch. Man Roy, that's not a mirror. So she exclaims that she can get him a job, and Roy thinks it's dumb, and Thea says shut up.

Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 3

Trust me, it will grow. So Oliver head out to Diggle... And is happy. If I was Diggle, I would have a heart attack. Well, he exclaims that he found his psycho ex GF. I wonder how he did... But I dunno. Well they decide that she has to go before she squeals like the bitch she is. Ollie heads home to see Thea with Helena. Oliver practically throws Thea out of the room, and if I was him, I would have just snapped her neck, call Diggle, and throw her body in the resivor. But that's just me. Oliver says leave, cause her dad is in jail. She says he is getting witness protection, and she's pissed that he is daring to help the law. She wants Oliver to help kill some U.S Marshalls, but Ollie has a strange idea of how about not killing innocent people. He throws her out of his home, while she threatens to kill his family. 3 words. Dead. Diggle. Reservoir.

So Oliver adds security to his family, and he's freaking out, while Diggle acts so nonchalant, I dare say Thea used the N word around him. Tommy comes in, and while Ollie wants to talk to him, Tommy gives no shit about it. He says Oliver is a murderer (I say a killer... And sort of a murderer in some of the flashbacks) and he leaves. So to the godawful CGI Island flashbacks, Slade makes a plan to destroy the missles. He exclaims they have too many weapons for some simple blowing up, so they need to stop him from killing people. He decides to blow it up. Ollie comes up with a plan to get all the men together. So Lance fixes his gun while writing mean things about Jenna Coleman on forums under the name Dresden35. Laurel says he should make up with mom, but he strangely doesn't wanna talk to his ex wife. But he agrees.

So at the party where Steve Aoki plays Steve Aoki (Hope that's easy for him) Moria congratulates the gang for the nightclub (Hall brought a balloon, which makes Yelp give the place a 56 out of 10), and Laurel congratulates Tommy, who is kicking himself over not bringing a balloon. Thea asks about Roy, and Tommy says he got the job. Somehow. Helena decides to go after the one person Ollie loves... But because Steve Aoki is a martial arts master, she goes after Tommy instead. Oliver finds out, and checks to see Helena showing him the screenings of Fifty Shades of Green 2: Feminism takes over! Oliver is pissed that Helena is torturing Tommy, and she says she can kill a whole club of people. Yeah, maybe 10-15, but then they would kick her ass.

Oliver agrees, so pissed off she teleports. Diggle asks if she has any feelings for her, and Diggle tells Oliver he should murder her, but won't because she's hot. Oh Diggle, you're way hotter then Helena. With your... Umm... Well, Oliver explains about revenge, and Diggle says he does not care, she is evil. Oliver says he can't kill her, but they can't arrest her. Umm... KILL HER! Diggle, do it. Helena comes in, and Diggle treats her like human garbage. Felicity comes in, and Oliver tells her to fuck off. Oh... Oh please, do that more often. Helena tries to be cute, but Ollie has none of that shit. Oliver tries to make her stop, but Helena gives no shit. That may make her likeable.

So Flashback Ollie captures Slade, and Slade replies by killing 6 guys like he's the hero of a GTA Game. Tommy heads to Laurels, and he tells Thea that Roy never came. Tommy tries to apologize to Laurel, but she wants the truth.

Tommy: Okay, Oliver's ex girlfriend tried to break it into intimidating him to help her do something, most likely murder. That is because Oliver is the Hood! I found out when he saved my dad, who by the way has a bow and arrow along with an outfit like the hood as well in his panic room. I am both furious at him for killing people and I am also conflicted over him helping people and saving us, along with him being my one and true friend since childhood. Honestly, dating you is amazing, but I feel I am hurting him by being with you, because it's obvious he still loves you. I don't know what to do, and I have no one with me on my side, and I feel even now, you're not on my side at all. I am, for the first time since my mother died... That I am alone.

Nah! He says he got into a fight with a blender, and Laurel knows it's shit. He explains he can't explain, and Laurel says her family is going up the shitter. She runs off crying, and I wonder how many fucks I give. I found none. Thea comes in, and Roy tries to be badass, saying some shit about money and having crime... While having purple lips. I guess she interrupted him on eating a barrel of raspberry jam. So Thea is almost gangraped, but Roy beats them up... And is somehow Stabbed. Despite none of the guys having a knife.

Poor Stupid Roy moment: 4

So Oliver exclaims he will murder her if she touches anyone but her dad. Hey, she touched her bike! KILL HER! So they ride off for victory, and find the van. Oliver finds no one is in there... But the vast nothingness of his goal of VENGANCE. Or some shit like that. So Helena takes out her van, and she is arrested by a swat Van! YES!

Points: 6

So Oliver sees it, and while I hate it, I understand... He has to save her. Ugh. He rides off, while she's in jail. Lance tries to be tough, but he is still too busy thinking about Clara. Hall wants to know who the arrow is, and Helena gives a pouty face. She says its Oliver Queen... And asks about dating Hall. She says that he uses people... Yeah, fuck you. I don't care. I wonder why no one believes the woman who wants to start gang wars, wants to murder innocent cops doing their job, and makes me cringe every time she speaks of her hatred of dear daddy. Maybe your dad didn't kill your fiancée, but he committed suicide when he learned 'Oh shit, I'm about to marry this bitch?!' See, I do hate her more then Laurel.

So Lance is pissed, and she says his name is the Hood. Great, they narrowed it down to a black guy. So Ollie pulls the fire alarm and smokes the place, and throws a dart at Lance. Hmm... He hasn't been that annoying this epiosde, so no point. So Thea takes Roy to the doctor, and he is scared of needles.

Poor stupid Roy moment: 5

Level 2: Weenie mode, achieved.

This is, of course, a joke about how in the comics, he loves the needle more then his love of having sex with terrorist with body counts that would make Joker go 'damn!' So Thea kisses him, most likely causing him to cream himself, and he is hit with the needle. So Helena claims Oliver must like her, and I sadly agree. Again... Reservoir, Diggle, dead. No, don't use the reservoir to kill Diggle. I mean, have the reservoir kill her, and hide her in Diggle. Wait what? So he hands her plane tickets, and tells her to fuck off. She gives him a pouty face so dangerous, it would make a 2 year old go 'holy shit'.

So at blow em up island, they set up charges, and Oliver has a new idea. He takes out the circuit board, deciding to use it as leverage. Clever. BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH! So Ollie heads out to Hall's place, where he decides to go all Laurel on her, and she says 'hey, calm down'. Wow... What a girlfriend thing to say. I bet their relationship will go on for seasons with the great chemistry they have, the intriguing dynamic, and how she is a character of multiple dimensions. So they begin to fuck, which is the real important thing. Ollie gets a call from Felicity, where a crossbow was stolen. Felicity says his psycho ex is still around. Helena is not glad about the wording. Shit.

So she has her tied up (Fifty shades of Green 2 promos looking great!) and Oliver saves her while almost killing Diggle. He apologizes to her, and goes after Helena, planning to kill her. So... In a stupid scene, turns out Helena can defeat highly skilled state guards with ease. Fuck me. This scene is so stupid.

Points: 5

So she goes

https://youtu.be/Z64WwrJK7lE

But Ollie escapes and Frank runs away. She chases after Frank, but Ollie stops her. Hall heads out, and she sees the dead men. She goes off on how he won't kill her, and Oliver is angry that she is evil. He tries to arrow her, but she catches it. Fuck, of all the cool characters who can do that, she not only can... BUT IS THE FIRST?! Oh my god, I hate you Helena. Yeah, you aren't the Huntress, Huntress would go

Huntress: Look, I can see where you're coming from. But you killed 9 innocent men. So... Fuck you.

(Huntress kills her)

Man, I hate that my stupid jokes are better then this episode. So they fight, and he fight like school children, before Hall decides to arrest Ollie. He surrenders, and... She shoots Hall. Oliver goes to Hall, and is horrified to see her hurt. Wow... Now I really hate Helena. So, does he go after her, and finally puts her...

HE LETS HER GO?!

Points: 3

Oh yeah, the only reason I didn't take 3 away, was the idea of him wanting to save Hall as fast as he could. But come on, 1 minute of his time could have been spent filling that bitch with arrows. Ahh... Well, fuck me. So Hall is in the hospital, and get this... She can't walk. She needs recovery for it, needing a year to walk. Oh... My... God. These idiots did it. She decides to head to Coast City to heal up. NO, NO, NO! DON'T YOU DARE! She exclaims she loves Ollie, but she has to go. NO, NO, NO! YOU SONS OF BITCHES...

And that's it. Goodbye Hall. Good fucking bye. You were thrown to the wind like garbage, while Helena gets to jerk off to her revenge of her dad, and you will never return, despite the fans and critics liking you. Yeah... Remember in Dodger?

Points: 0

YEAH, FUCK YOU EPISODE! Really, no joke. Fuck. You.

Now, with her gone, who can Ollie hook up with? Laurel? Yeah, we all know what tthat shit pile of a relationship is. Felicity? Yeah, like that will ever happen. Thea? Wow... You're sick. Tommy? Now I'm intrigued.

So Lance tells his ex he is ready to hear all about Sara. It's a nice scene, and I would give a point... But this episode doesn't deserve it. Tommy has another... You know what, no. Nice scene followed by another nice scene with them making threats to Fyers. I want this episode to END!

Score: 0. You have failed this series. https://youtu.be/oiX3gq3RfvQ

Thoughts: Okay... 'Episode' you are now officially, the worst in Season 1! None can surpass your badness. Hell, at this point, and no joke, until I get to the rest of the series... You are the worst episode of Arrow.