User blog:Nobody700/Flash Reviews: Episode 9; The Return of the Opposite Flash

Are you ready to make yellow snow?! Cause I am!

The Man in the Yellow Suit
So we see Barry ruining Christmas while chasing a guy faster then him. Thus stars the 'Barry is not the fastest man' statement that is less meme and more fact. Well Barry ruins Christmas for Joe with his speed and also Iris hands the two booze. Best Christmas present ever, HARD LIQUOR! How do you think I'm the guy I am today? Well the two have Christmas 3 days early. The bastards. Barry gives Iris a nice present like from her mom, which is nice. Iris gives Barry... A microscope. Barry gives her a treasured present that has emotional connection to her and her mother she never knew... And she gave him a microscope. You know Barry, give that to Ray, and he would be the deadliest person in the Arrowverse ya know. He nearly killed Damian with it!

So Eddie ruins Christmas for Barry by putting his penis in everything. So sheesh, STAR Labs looks like shit and I can't wait for them to remodel. Kinda looks like this.

https://goo.gl/images/tSoe52

So Harrison doesn't drink cause he is against drinking and driving. He has standards, unlike Barry! WHO'S THE VILLAIN NOW BARRY?! Well a shitty pop song plays while Eddie asks if he and Barry are cool and if Barry likes Iris? Iris says that's wrong, they are best friends, and men and women can be friends. I should know, I'm friends with a woman and we never had any inclination of dating. Yes she's a lesbian, why do you ask? So Eddie gives her a present while Caitlin says Harrison and Hawking have something in common. They are both snarky assholes. Caitlin sees a hobo around and is immediately smitten with him, cause he's hot! Also her dead fiancé. But mostly for being hot. She acts mildly surprised. I'd only be mildly surprised if I saw my dead fiancé alive and on fire. Nothing to get over excited or freaked out about. So some scientist guys are attacked by the deadliest threat known to man... A guy in a yellow suit! He also has super speed.

So Barry is at the crime scene and Eddie thinks the flash did it. He says all he saw was a guy in a yellow suit and Barry freaks out, saying he knows the guy murdered his mom. Joe says he knew, but didn't tell him cause the guy threatened Iris. The gang plan to find a way to stop this speedster and see the head scientist of the place is the flash's old friend Tina. Apparently she is messing with tachyons, saying whoever has it will be faster then light. Damn, if Barry uses it, he may be faster then Savitar! Or... Well actually fast. Caitlin comes in to see Iris asking about burning man and Iris tells her stories of her being bra less and getting into fist fights in the desert of Arizona before she finds out what she really means. Caitlin in return gives her relationship advice. NOICE. So Tina hates the police because she is one of those super Geniuses who is also stupid. She prefers her people dying then helping, thank you very much!

Cisco has an idea to create a force field to stop the Opposite Flash, Barry's greatest foe since Rainbow Rider. Caitlin tells Cisco her fiancé is alive and she needs Cisco's help. Cisco goes 'WHA' but says sure. Barry has a flashback of how some bully pushed him down the stairs. I wonder who... OPPOSITE FLASH?! Well Barry's mom says you can't lock up the darkness, but you can be unafraid of it cause the dark is a lame season 4 villain and a lame villain in Supernatural as well. Barry is happy knowing his mom and dad totally will never ever die. Speaking of never ever dying, Barry's mom is murdered in front of his eyes a few hours later. Fuck. I blame Iris.

Speaking of Iris, she sees Barry flash backing, which is not a euphemism for jerking off. It's flashing on. She says Eddie wants her to move in with her, and Barry reacts the way any guy would. Gibberish, asking questions, and sweaty. Unlike the way we normally act... Just plain sweaty. So Barry is sad, but you know what perks him up? Seeing the man who murdered his mom! So he chases after him, and Barry is pissed at the guy. The Reverse Flash says just catch him, and the two run. The two battle in a football dome, and by battle, I mean he just curbstomps Barry. It's less of a fight, and more a guy beating up a small child and throwing him around while going 'NANANANANANANANANANANAN' the whole time. Barry is let go by the guy, tired of spanking his ass. Barry heads back to STAR labs, and tells them he wet himself during the fight. Harrison laughs. So the gang prep up the force field, and Tina acts like a bitch to the police still.

Barry blackmails her because he is tired of her shit and so am I. Shut up Tina, you blackmailed Barry before! This is just him retaliating. So Eddie blackmails Joe so he can capture the flash. Joe is unimpressed this time. So while Cisco and Caitlin check for Ronnie, Caitlin says Barry and Harrison can't know because fuck you. So it seems Ronnie has gone nuclear, and unlike last time, it isn't Oliver and Laurel fucking. So he tells Caitlin he isn't Ronnie, he's actually an elderly Jewish scientist who may have a fetish for young black men. Also he's firestorm. So the gang use the tachyon to lure the Reverse Flash, and the guys agree Barry shouldn't be around. He is kinda unstable and he isn't really useful after his beatdown. Barry says he's the main character, he has to do this. Joe says he and Harrison are main characters too, and they can overrule him. Barry runs off crying while Caitlin cries. Fuckin crying. Caitlin plays a game where if she could be with one minute with Ronnie, and she says that minute sucked. She says Ronnie... Shoulda died.

Points: 4

I get Caitlin is sad, and I won't lie, if I saw someone I love in that position I would be troubled. But Ronnie is just in trouble, he needs help! Caitlin comes off less as someone troubled with her fiancé she never saw now changed by a horrible accident... And more like someone going 'Eww, my fiancé is ugly now! LET HIM DIE!' Caitlin, you are a terrible fiancé, and I know a guy who called his fiancé a lard ass with a mouth bigger then her ass. Not me, I would be dead if I ever said that. Basically, fuck Caitlin is all I'm saying. So Barry heads in to see his dad, and he seems to be the only person who ever saw a loved one in jail on Christmas. Fuckin everyone else. So Barry says he found the guy who murdered mom! I like how Henry's face says it all though. He is having a face of both joy and terror. Joy because his son has finally found the man who murdered his wife, validating once and for all the cold hard fact he never murdered his wife.

On the other hand... His son may do something foolish. Head in without thinking trying to avenge his family... And facing the same fate his mother did when faced with the man in yellow. So props for the acting that says so much without a word!

Points: 5

Barry says he's shit for not catching the guy earlier, but Henry tells him he did EVERYTHING to do this, and he says he is doing great. He needs to let it go for a while, and he shouldn't have his life obsessed with him. He should catch him... But he should move on. Let his obsession with him go. Just catch him. So Barry heads to Iris and he tells Iris he loves her. She says she loves him too. Barry says you dumb broad, I mean I wanna fuck you like an animal. Damn, I am referencing myself at this point! So he goes I loved you since I was born speech and blah blah blah it goes nowhere for the rest of the season so I don't care. So Cisco brings in the lure for the Reverse Flash, who doesn't seem to come... Until he does and is trapped. Fuckin Reverse Flash! So the police head in to catch the guy who is trapped, and is too busy vibrating to let anyone see his face. Joe asks why he murdered Nora, but the guy ignores him to talk to Harrison.

I hate to give my fan theory's, but the reason I never thought Harrison Wells was the Reverse Flash? The reason I ignored everything? It was because I suspected that season 1 would have TWO Zoom's. The one we see, would be pretty much Eddie. He was a dick, wanted to kill the flash, and ruined Barry's love life and came in out of nowhere? Yeah, I always thought he was the Eobard Thawne character posing as his descendant. However, Harrison Wells? I always thought he was actually Harrison Hunter Wells, who took his dead wife's name instead of his own... Zolomon. I thought he knew about Barry being the speedster thanks to stealing tech from Eobard, and he was going to be training Barry, wanting him to become the world's greatest hero. The two would battle each other for it, and I suspected the man in the trap was Harrison, but he was a future version of himself aiding his old version. Is it dumb? Yeah. But hey... The actual Zoom did that in the show, so I wasn't that far off.

So Harrison boasts and the reverse flash shows his ability to create memes. He beats up poor Harrison. Joe saves Harrison while the police just point guns without firing because only main characters know how to fire guns. So Reverse shows his ability to beat up cops. Something every evil speedster must do if they want to be big bad material. That's why the Rival and Trajectory sucked, never beat up cops you see. Well Reverse Flash kicks Barry's bitch ass, but he's saved by Ronnie. Caitlin tells Barry to kill Ronnie! Nah, I'm joking. She does give him a look that says he should die, and he flies away. Barry wonders WTF and so do I. Eddie asks why he and Joe aren't dead, and Joe says this is a thing he needs to learn called... Plot armor. Joe tells Eddie all about meta humans. Joe says no one can know about Meta Humans cause they could get hurt.

I mean, if they learn what meta humans are, they may be able to CHALLENGE them! Joe doesn't need competition! Joe also tells Eddie to stop stalking the Flash. Wells is pissed no one told him about Ronnie. Guy almost set him on fire! He does say they should work together to kill Ronnie. Wait, or save him. Because even a sadist has more emotional stability then Caitlin. So Barry talks about his mom and says he is scared of the guy now... But he will still fight. If not for himself, but for his mother. So everyone has a Christmas party, happy an entire swat team is dead from an evil speedster that no one questions how he did it. Classic.

So at STAR labs, Harrison has his own present... A brand new spanking Reverse-Flash suit! He puts the Tachyon device on, and he says Merry Christmas. He got egg nog!

Score: 5. Average, nothing more, nothing less https://youtu.be/ussCHoQttyQ

MVC: Henry, for not being a jerk like almost everyone kinda was in this ep.

MSC: Caitlin, for being a terrible fiancé.

Thoughts: While the Reverse Flash stuff was great and I liked the scene between Henry and Barry, the rest was sadly not very engaging, and should have been better because of its importance due to the plot.