User blog:Gifist8/Supergirl Reviews: Episode 5: Supergirl's Legs Are Our Only Hope

Jeez, how long has it been hmm let's see, a asylum, some monsters oh and that's right! I died right in front of my salad, wait... shit wrong kinda videos😏. Anyway let's get into supergirl.... Totally not what I meant.

How Does She Do It?
Okay, so the episode starts off with supergirl narrating how she felt like a shadow of a person... Can we ever get a episode where she doesn't feel like shit cause she's superman's cousin? She says she can have it all... Damn right she can😏. "Nothing can ruin my mood today" Okay.... (That's gonna be bullshit). She proceeds to get targeted by a drone and TBF this shouldn't hurt her, I mean she is supergirl. Then we go to this bit where it shows a drone might be faster than supergirl... Uhh, K. She uses her one dollar CGI to destroy the drone, only to figure out that it was a exercise from DEO. Or was it? DA DA DAAAAA.

It wasn't, of course. She now goes into her day job, wait a minute... She swooped into the job? And no one saw her? Jeez at least batman and superman try to hide their identities, you aren't even trying. Anyway cat grant has won the prize for women in media (Who gives a shit...) She can't go because she has to watch her son... When did I start watching a sitcom plot? This is the first year she best Lois lane, Hmmm K. Kara decides that she'll watch him, Ooo let's see how this goes wrong, I bet he gets kidnapped. The name of her son is carter... You talking about carter hall? The son of black canary and green arrow in injustice? Ahhh just... carter, yayyy? She says that he wouldn't be safer with supergirl, Jesus Christ kara, are you even trying to hide your identity anymore? Do you simply not give a fuck anymore?

Now we cut to a new scene starting off with some music, since it's playing the entire scene, let's all say... TURN OFF THIS CRINGY ASS MUSIC. Also... Lucy flipping lane..... FUC-

https://youtu.be/AcKgZo4s0kY

AND IS A DISGRACE TO HUMAN RIGHTS.... Sorry just had to let that out, let's continue. TBH I don't give two shits about what's they're saying soooo, SKIP! While kara and jimmy are having their awkward talk. bombs goes off impacting the restaurant. Of course supergirl goes to save the day until she finds red kyrptonite... Whoops wrong episode. Anyway supergirl stops building and a weird drone scans her.

The DEO aka secret service (let's be honest) Think that maxwell lord made these drones because of.... reasons. They can't go into lord technologies as DEO agents so they use some of their plot devices to make it look like they're FBI agents.... K. Supergirl goes on about lois's false sister and says she wants to date her, the only way that will happen is if i'm watching you two (Totally not a perv)😏

Alex says "what kinda idiot would choose lucy lane over supergirl" apparently jimmy cause jimmy is a fuckin idiot, Oh snap just got roasted son. Kara remembers that she had to pick up carter, you know for supergirl, you are super irresponsible. She goes to carter and starts a incredible awkward talk, until she does the roast of the show "This is a really good school, I'm surprised they haven't taught you guys to speak out loud yet"

https://youtu.be/hpj6Nuc1SI4

Maxwell and the DEO talks and hank leaves alex with lord to figure out what's going on, I've seen enough porn to know where this is going. Turns out carter likes supergirl and kara just sits there and is close to revealing her identity.... Again. Jimmy doesn't know how to work a stapler... Lovely. Kara and jimmy start another awkward coverstation... A few coughs and it would've been perfect. Next scene we see Nightwing and Harley Quinn fuc- wait wrong movie, Alex and maxwell have a awkward conversation... Do I need to start counting these up? A bomb that somehow got into lord technologies is about to go off, our hero maxwell cuts a wire and it shortens the time... Our HERO. Alex calls kara and gets winn to watch carter cause he a child himself. Supergirl uses her plot armor to get the bomb, throw it in the air and get injured... K. Kara goes back to check on Winn and carter and it seems they're playing call df outy. (Probably better than COD Infinate warfare)

Kara goes to get some lunch till she meets the really villain of this season... Lucy Lane. Turns out lucy is jealous of supergirl and jimmy... Why tho? Do you really think he'll date the cousin of superman? His best friend? He don't wanna die, he'll get punched to the sun when superman figures out. Maxwell tells a story to Alex on why he doesn't trust the government, ok maybe it's just that he doesn't like someone in there, ohhh wait... His parents worked for the government and one day they were working on something, one of their machines malfunctioned and it burned his parent's internal organs....

https://youtu.be/FONN-0uoTHI

We now cut to the scene where Kara apologizes for cutting off jimmy talking about Lucy Lane, nah I would be thanking you kara. I wouldn't have to talk about the piece of shit that is lucy lane. The DEO gets supergirl to watch the train because.. I don't know and I don't care. We get a argument between jimmy and Lucy, again I don't care so.... SKIP! Now we find out carter went down to the newly built train station to meet supergirl, CARTER! Keep. Your. Hormones. In. Check. So we also figure out that lucy lane is also getting on the train.... So like they can let the train explode if she's on it. Now everyone's rushing down to the train station and WTF? Winn is already there, rather he is just as fast as the flash or he has the fastest car in the world. Random evil dude is gonna blow up the train soon so now we have to give a fuck about him. So we cut to the next scene and.... Oh Lucy's on the plane? Rather I wasn't listening or they didn't make that clear enough. So supergirl goes to save carter on the maxrail train. She gets on the train and carter looks amazed. Again carter, Keep. Your. Hormones. In. Check.

Supergirl uses X ray vision to see suicide bomber, i'ma put 500 bucks on that he's suicide bombing cause family or some shit. Hank and Alex go to the airport to find the bomb and Hank tells Alex to leave, hmmm I wonder how he'll defuse it😏🙃. Now we cut to supergirl and suicide bomber andddd he's doing this about his daughter.... So supergirl writers I want 500 bucks please! Hank disarms the bomb while his eyes turn red.... I wonder why🤔😏. We cut back to supergirl and suicide bomber. Suicide bomber kills himself and Supergirl lets him... Superman would've save him. Alex and Kara become more suspicious about Hank cause the plot needs them too. We now go to Connor and Cat talking and Connor talks about how he met supergirl. Cat asks "What do you think makes her a hero"? Connor says her legs.... Agreed. He quickly says her heart. Cause he doesn't want a spanking. Kara and Cat have a talk but I don't care so... SKIP! Maxwell lord seems suspicious so now supergirl meets maxwell. Maxwell reveals to be a fucking genius and a mastermind, I like this dude.

Me on the inside: She said nothing would upset her today and like most the things in this episode upset her

Me: Meh episode, was kinda boring, it had it's ups and downs but it was meh for the most part

5.4/10

Coming Soon: Flash Reviews!