User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 39; Squad goals

And now, for our review...

Warner Brothers Executive: Sorry Asshole700, your review series is cancelled.

WHAT?! WHY?

Warner Brothers Executive: Because the far superior Nobody7000 shall review the movie series. What do you say, Nobody7000?

Nobody7000: Okay. Superman was in Man of steel. That's it.

But... He barely did anything! I had a whole bunch of seasons planned. Plus, I review the Arrowverse, not the movies! They have nothing in common.

Warner Brothers Executive: Man, you're right. But that makes us look stupid, so die.



Suicide Squad
Oh man, I'm a huge fanboy of Suicide Squad, so this should be great. So Ollie has a bad dream where he thinks Sara is Shado. Don't we all wish our girlfriends were Asian. So Ollie heads out to Bravta, and wants them to see Slade. So the man tries to blackmail Ollie, but he wants it now. When the guy tries to act smug, Ollie just Bitchslaps him and his goons. They listen to him now, or get killed. So at the base, Sara and Oliver talk about how Slade seems to be alive. So Oliver promises to kill Slade. For real, this time. Diggle and Felicity hang out stalking... Felicity. She says that Slade would have killed her long ago if he wanted. Diggle agrees, and gets a text. He heads out, and he sees Lyla... In lingerie. Ahh, a man's one weaknes... Sexy women who want to have sex with them.

While they fuck, Diggle has flashbacks with JOHN CRICHTON and Lyla. John complains about women being in the military, cause Aeryn kicks his ass a lot. There, Lyla finds one of the refugees is a drug dealer, and they catch him. So Amanda comes in, mentioning how she fucks there. God, picturing Amanda having sex is like picturing Wonder Woman having sex. The man who does it must have balls bigger then a moon, to have sex with such terrifying and powerful women. Amanda wants Diggle to help, but doesn't want Ollie to help. Most likely cause she is sort of scared to mess with Oliver. Again. She knows what he's capable off... And may not want to be in his crosshairs. Still, I would have wanted Oliver to be a part of Suicide Squad.

So she has the team set up, called Task Force X. Deadshot, who's been captured, calls it Suicide Squad. Shrapnel is there because they need a whiny bastard. Bronze Tiger, because he can fight almost as good as Ollie. Deadshot cause... Well, he's Deadshot. Not having Deadshot in your suicide squad is like not having Green Lantern in your Justice League. Harley Quinn cameos.

Points: 6

Holy crap, nice to know Batman, Joker, and others are now canon. Let's celebrate.

https://youtu.be/kkPlk1T1Rjg

So Oliver learns Slade killed the Bravta. What's a dick. He also made the mask on the building. Well fuck. So at some art show, Lyla and the others hang while Shrapnel... Is given the job to drive. Why use him them, if his job is to be the driver? Deadshot fucks with Diggle, while he remembers how the drug dealer tried to bribe him. They are attacked. So at the art show, the guy meets up with Diggle, where he acts corrupt. Well Deadshot starts shooting fore where Diggle saves him. All to gain his trust. Deadshot heads out to find Shrapnel bolted. Seems he can't stand how the man is making him drive. Well Amanda makes him explode. Kinda deserves it. Damn, why does everytime these guys pop up, one of them explodes to show its real. Shrapnel, KGB beast, Slipnot. Why can't they just go 'Huh, they say we have explosives in us... I'm going to believe it.'

So Diggle is pissed, but they give no shit. Meh, so one more liberal arts college asshole is dead. So Ollie is kicked out of the Bravta by some weenie who probably isn't even Russian. Probably something like a Canadian. So Sara comes in, saying Ollie needs to cool down. He says fuck that noise, Slade Wilson must die. So Diggle is patched up by Deadshot, where Diggle says why he has a shrine. Diggle goes meh, he kills for his daughter. She gets all his money. Diggle says a girl needs a father. Deadshot tells him he always thought Diggle seemed more like a father of a boy. Maybe in another life. So at the party, Diggle and Lyla meet up with the drug dealer, where Deadshot comes in and pretends to be Diggle. First, he becomes black... Nah, that's ridiculous. A black Deadshot. What's next, an Australian Harely?

So at the flashbacks, we see Diggle kill a kid. Damn, what is this, Die Hard? So the drug dealer makes Lyla and Diggle dance because he is a shipper. There, the two have problems, but still seem to like each other. So Laurel and Sara talk of drinking, which Laurel is a pro at. Most likely Katie herself after Season 4. She seems to be trying to be nice, saying Ollie should just date Sara. What's the worst thing, huh? A crazy one eyed Australian man with a machete will kill her? So Ollie decides enough is enough... He will defeat Slade now. Sure, nice try. So Deadshot finds the hiding spot for what they need, and heads in, to find... Amanda Waller. Nah, that's stupid.

So Ollie goes in at Slade's to find the Bravta guy dead. My heart weeps for him. Home movies play of... Shado. Or maybe Mei. Man, how would Slade react if he learned Mei existed? So Ollie heads back to tell Sara that he sucks, and Slade is too damn good. Well, we see Deadshot has found the stuff is full of nerve agents that weigh a few ton. That's dangerous. So Amanda decides to call in a drone strike. I wonder how THAT WILL BE CALLED IN!

Points: 5

I mean, come on. People will know a fucking Drone was called in to blow up a foreign nations mansion. Come on, at least blow it up after the party, you asshole. So Diggle decides to save everyone by telling them how the host is evil. Everyone runs away, while Bronze Tiger kills him. Diggle saves Floyd, who seems to give no shits he will die. Oh, another reason she sucks. Why kill Floyd for something so stupid? He has more use after this Waller. Having him stay has no purpose. Well Floyd wants to die, but Diggle convinces him to come for his daughter. I like it.

Points: 6

So it seems the Drone is tagged for Deadshot. That is stupid, especially if he runs away. Should have just blown up the mansion. So the drone goes after him, while Lyla performs Surgery on him to get the tag out, which causes the drone to make it explode. Pretty small explosion. Like, a stick of TNT small. Well Amanda is pissed about the drone, and Diggle tells her to fuck off. She agrees, and lets Diggle out. She says new surgery for everyone, and new members of suicide squad. Like another crazy chick. Floyd and Diggle leave, with the two gaining new respect for each other, while hostility is still shown.

Well Diggle and Lyla make out. They are in love. Sweet sweet love. So in a flashback, Lyla tells Diggle she has jungle fever, and wants to date him. Diggle, having vanilla ever, says sure. So the news tells of how the US found chemical weapons, while Moria also tells everyone people like to swim. Oliver tells Sara this is a lie. Aqua Man would always try to kill him when he tried to swim. Probably cause he fucked Mera or something. So Ollie thanks Laurel for making him fuck Sara, and she wants Ollie to hang out. He has other stuff though.

So Amanda finds her men knocked out, and Ollie is there. They seem to know each other. He wants her to find Slade, while she wants him... To find Deathstroke. Damn, that's like if a guy went 'I want you to kill Batman, and then... Kidnap Bruce Wayne for me!'

Score 6: Slightly above average https://youtu.be/6YMPAH67f4o

MVC: Deadshot. He is great in this episode, and him playing with Diggle is fun.

MSC: Amanda. Blowing up a valuable guy is stupid.

Thoughts: I personally would have liked more Suicide Squad and less Arrow. Course, I feel like somehow, they wanted less of an episode of Arrow, and an episode of an idea for Suicide Squad. Damn, how would a show about Suicide Squad be? That would be awesome. Too bad the movie fucked that up.