User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 12; I'm dizzy, help me!

In today's episode, we learn all about drugs... And why if we take them, a man in a green hood will murder you.

Vertigo
So thunder strikes (BARRY?!) With a man running away from Ba... I mean Oliver. Most likely he pirated DVD's of a marvel movie, but Oliver catches him. He asks who supplies Vertigo, the drug Thea was on. Seems that the head drug dealer is the Count. Oh, they turned Count Vertigo... Into a drug dealer. Okay, that's weird. Diggle tells Ollie to leave the drug dealers alone for now, and head to Thea, that she needs him. Oliver tells Thea not to play Tic Tac Toe. Life lessons. Thea and Ollie mope, and hold hands when reporters ask if Thea had sexual relations... I mean, did drugs. In court, they try to get Thea off easy, while the Judge claims Thea is the queen of drugs, and wants her executed. Instead, he just takes away her plea. Looks like Oliver has to arrow him.

The lawyer tells everyone that hope is lost, and Thea will have to make orange the new black. Thea doesn't care too, saying she is still angry over Moria cheating on Walter. No she didn't... She had him kidnapped. DIFFERENT! Oliver makes sure Moria is okay, while he decides to go all 'ME AM ARROW, HEAR ME ROAR' but is interrupted by a flashback. Oliver is hurt that his best friend forever for like, 1 hour, has betrayed him. Yaoi Fei ditches him, with Ollie angry that this man who tried murdering him once has betrayed him. Oliver heads to the police department, and meets Hall.

Can I just say... With recent episodes... Is it weird that Hall is Ollie's BEST love interest? Helena is an uber bitch, Laurel is Laurel, Sara and him are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too damaged to like each other, and Felicity... Less said about that. Hell, I wonder why Hall isn't back on the show, she's the only woman who doesn't treat Oliver either as human garbage or has screwed as much woman as him. So Hall went from party girl to a cop, which sounds AWESOME for a show. Party Cop! Why aren't I watching that show?

https://youtu.be/COqZdEikio0

OH DEAR GOD, STOP! Why does Eli Roth ruin everything?! So Ollie asks Hall if he can go undercover with her to stop the drug operations. A rich man and a female cop stopping crime? Sounds familiar... Nah! At the docks, which number in the triple digits at Starling, we meet the Count... And oh man, he must have eaten a whole HAM before he got in this scene. He injects the guy with pure Vertigo, and the man is tortured by watching Season 3 and 4 at the same time. The Count hands him a gun, and the man kills himself to end the pain. The Count decides that his next target will be the rest of the unchewed room... AND THEN THE HOOD!

Laurel uses her product placement to see Thea going to jail, when Tommy dares be cute. Ollie cuteblocks him, and it seems Ollie went to Laurel. He asks Laurel to ask her dad to make the judge leave Thea alone, while he plans to stop all the drugs in the world. Thank god he didn't ask Laurel to defend Thea... Like she did for him. Lance thinks that Thea should die, and Laurel reminds Lance of Sara. Lance laughs, and then remembers it's Sara, not Sarah. Sara uses drugs, Sarah sells drugs. Big difference. Laurel goes all defensive, claiming that Oliver did not force them to the yacht and that Sara and Sarah screwed up. Oliver takes Diggle to his Bravta place, and he wants to know about some drug deals.

The Bravta state that the Count is deadly, but Ollie hands him a file for the Count. Then comes... The favors. Okay, it's clear that Oliver is ranked HIGHER then this bozo, but he claims that Ollie should do shit for him? Man, suck up to Ollie, he could promote you! Not antagonize him! That's like if Lance told the police captain to shove it, and was promoted later... Oh, and he was promoted later on. NEVER MIND! Oliver also says he saved the leader of the Bravta's life. The guy asks Oliver to kill some guy, for the billionth test to see if he is loyal. Next test is Oral! So Oliver kills him.

In a flashback, Oliver is dragged out by Yaoi Fei for island fight club. Where Billy Bob Slade is wrecking some poor fool for dissing his new role in the next Batman movie. Oliver is chosen to battle... Wait, Stephen Amell is fighting in a gladiator match? Against Slade... Nah, doesn't ring a bell. Oliver brings the dead body with him... And revives him! Oliver is Jesus! Then he kicks his ass. He wants the guy out of the city. Ollie states that they need to be smart, and Diggle is pissed that he now has become a drug dealer. Won't be the last time a Queen tells him to do drugs!

So Laurel and Ollie help Thea escape jail, and that she has to do community service. Such as, flog the writers for season...

Everyone: WE GET IT! SEASON 3 SUCKED, MOVE ON!

Fine. I won't complain about Season 3... For the rest of the review. Season 4 sucks BTW. Well Thea, like a dumbass, rejects this wonderful deal, and Ollie demolishes her. Thea reveals that all of this is to hurt Moria. Wow, even Ollie thinks that's stupid. He then reveals that Robert cheated on Moria. Oliver tells a half truth that Robert confessed to him about messing up, implying he cheated... Instead of the actual shit he did. Thea runs off. Moria then asks how Oliver can destroy Robert for Thea, like he did back in 2005 with Santa.

So at the drug deal, the Russian mobster tells Ollie that the Count is a mean person. A drug dealer is evil?! Who knew?! They check Ollie and Diggle for stuff, while the Count tries not to eat the scene. He fails. Ollie says he needs drugs for his party, and the Count brags that his drugs have killed for a perfect high. But, well... Does anyone really want to have vertigo? It's a lame name for a drug, and I bet the effects are like Vertigo. So the police barge in, ruining Ollies master plan of getting drugs, and he is injected with Vertigo by the Count. Hall, goes all badass, and nearly takes out the Count. Hey, more badass then Laurel!

Points: 6

Diggle, in a scene very reminiscent of Episode 3, saves Oliver. Oliver, in return, tries to kill Diggle. Maybe he learned from Thea about thanking people? So, in flashback Hallah, Oliver gets his ass kicked by Yaoi Fei, and he does the choke trick on Ollie. Well, Diggle reveals to Ollie that he is the hood... Nah, that wold be too weird. David Lynch weird. Diggle also cuffs him... 50 shades of Green? Diggle reveals the Count got away, but they have some drugs. Now to cook it, and go all Breaking Arrow! So Ollie heads home to see that Lance and Hall are there, and they know Oliver was there. Damn it Ollie! Next time, wear a mask when you sell drugs.

Ollie explains that he tried to get the Counts face so he could tell the police what he looked like. Strangely... Lance doesn't arrest him for a drug deal. I think he's afraid of catching Stupid from Ollie. I don't blame him. Even his excuse was stupid. Moria finds it crazy that Ollie thinks he's going all Walter White on everyone, and Ollie thinks this all about Robert. Robert Robert Robert, why is it always about Robert? Thea claims she should have known, and Moria says that she wanted her father to be an angel in her eyes. Thea apologizes, and Ollie... Just walks away. Awkward! Oliver though, has the drugs in him and he falls down, going back to a flashback.

Yaoi Fei does the neck trick on him, and throws him off a cliff. That, my friends, is how I celebrate my birthday. Ollie heads to Queen Consolidated to meet the dorkiest person he knows... Felicity, who seems to remind him of his overdose. Felicity also outs herself as a pervert. First an alcoholic, and now a pervert? She ask why the energy drink is in syringe form, and he claims that he he needs to meet his friend, B.S. So Digglle finds that an abandoned place is where the Drugs are. Diggle and Ollie face off, but Diggle does a little trick. If he can hit a tennis ball with an arrow, he can go. Oliver, stupid, but not a moron, doesn't dare arrow Diggle.

He then claims that he's the Hood, not the Arrow, and doesn't need a stinking bow. He goes all Daredevil... Before Daredevil, and fights while high off his ass. Best, hero, ever. HIGH MAN, FIGHTS WHILE HE'S HIGH! So the police find the place, and they head in. Ollie battles the drug dealers, and the Count claims drugs are good. Oliver helps him with his suggestion, by getting him high. Hoist by his own petard, bitch! Lance tries to stop the Arrow from doing the unthinkable... Harming a drug dealer! How far will you go, what's next 'Killer?' Murderers, rapist, Pedophiles? It's his job to protect them! (What I'm saying is, Lance is a moron.)

Ollie, afraid of catching Moron, runs off. Thea heads to Laurel, apologizing for being all Laurel, and Hall calls Ollie to tell him that they caught the drug dealer after Lance made sure he had his blanket. The doctor tells Lance that the drug dealer is full of Vertigo, and that he may not survive. Lance is more sad about that then when Sarah died. So, this reminds Oliver of the time Yaoi Fei wrote on his map for directions. Yaoi Fei didn't betray Ollie... He betrays everyone! Good old Crazy Chinese Hobo!

So, Felicity meets up with Ollie, and she admits she trusts his abs... I mean him, and shows him the list. Ollie somehow lies without being a moron, and she says she got it from Walter. She then says he found it from... His mother! Dun Du... Wait, we knew that. Remove that Dun! So Ollie has a 'I shit myself face.' Ending the episode.

Score 6: Slightly above average https://youtu.be/6YMPAH67f4o

Thoughts: Mostly okay, with a few bright moments. The Count can be annoying with how crazy he is, and Lance stating Oliver is a danger for... Attacking drug dealers is beyond stupid. But I like Hall, and Diggle has some epic moments with Oliver.