User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 26; I prefer my Canaries blue

It's not dolls, it's an action figure. Oh, wait, never mind. It's an episode of Arrow, not an episode of Daredevil! You can actually see the scenes in the show. (Hey, I adore Daredevil, but anyone who declares the show a masterpiece is a fucking liar. It is close to it though.)

Broken Dolls
So in the previous episode, which I greatly detailed to perfect order...

Original written footage found: So Laurel went all bitch on Ollie, and have the police surround him. Good to know that the police care more about catching our hero then the triad.

Fuck you... Me! So Ollie is told to surrender or be shot, when OMG BLACK CANARY! She uses a sonic device to break the windows and knock out the guys. She helps him escape, and when he asks why she helped him, she runs away. Did I forget to mention I love Black Canary in the comics... Unless she is around Green Arrow? Here, I adore her... For the first half. Guess what that other half is? So Oliver says that she saved him, and I have to say, she is his stalker. But a sexy stalker, so that's good. He mentions a sonic device, which I must say... We never find out where she got it. No joke, and don't say the league, cause they don't use it either. So where did she get that? From her ass? From her tight... Big... Bouncy... Umm... Shut up! So Diggle mocks Ollie for seeing Laurel, and he says he just wants to be BFF'S with her. So Slade is disgusted by the Japanese because he hates anime. Shado tells Oliver she was going to be a doctor cause she's Asian. I am racist.

They head off to find some bad guys, while Lance gets a hotdog for being a cop. He asks to help, throwing away his hotdog because he is pure evil. Then we find out his code... DC-52. DC-52...

https://youtu.be/IjF_BUR4AfI

He is told not to solve crimes because Pike has a micro penis. So he is pissed, and sees a victim that is dolled up and oh god this is creepy. Seems that when the prison was destroyed, he got away with a hammy drug dealer. Seems if Lance tries to solve a case he already solved once, he will be arrested. Because Pike has a tiny dick. So Felicity tells Oliver that the masked woman is beating up rapist. How dare she attack poor defenseless rapist! Oliver hates that, because he hates other vigilantes. Isn't that right Season 5? Man, Season 2 Ollie would be pissed. So Lance calls for Ollie, and Lance is a little disappointed the police is as competent as a baby sloth. So Lance tells Ollie of the Doll Maker, some scum bag serial killer who makes women become doll like. Lance caught him, and wants this guy gone. So they have to work together to stop him. Meanwhile, he kidnaps some poor girl. Our heroes!

So the gang looked up the guys profile, and he seems to enjoy fucking up young women cause he is pure scum. Oliver heads out to stop him with help of his favorite weenie, Roy. Roy tells Oliver how she saved him... After Ollie just said she saves women from abusive men. Now an average person can infer she defends all people, but leans towards women... But I infer that she found Roy such a weenie.

Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 22

If that hits 52, kill me. So Laurel is called tired by her dad, and he wants to find the Doll Makers attorney. They talk of how dark he became at the case, but Lance gives no fucks, he wants this guy gone. Look, sorry... Rant.

Why is that whenever a character wants a scum bag in jail, it's a vendetta? If the Dollmaker killed Sara, then I would get it! But he didn't. So quit with this 'you become dark' crap. What should Lance do? Masturbate and watch Netflix while this psycho kills women?! Man, it seems less VENGANCE, and more he's doing his job while everyone dicks around and just walks around the police station doing nothing.

So Thea heads out to see Moria, who is ready to go to jail for life. Thea helps Moria get good clothes for her trial, but Moria says she feels too bad to feel sexy. Moria, stay awesome. So Lance heads out to see the attorney, and wants to fix the Doll Maker. The guy says no, and Lance says okay. Arrow time! Oliver says he got out, and arrows him. He proceeds to torture the guy, and the attorney tells him about the place, being a German place for doll making. So Lance and Oliver head out to find the place, while they argue about the little torture thing. Hey, live and let live man, one does one broken mind say? Well the guy has the world's most stereotypical serial killer conversation over the phone. You know what would be fresh? If he pretended to be a Pizza Parlor.

Lance: You sick son of a bitch.

Doll Maker: This is Papa Johns, how can I help you?

Lance: Oh. Umm, one cheese pizza...

Doll Maker: One dead girl becoming a porcelain doll? OKAY!

Lance: WHAT?!

So he kills his victim over the phone. How rude! So the police find her corpse, and fuck that is creepy. He may be cliche, but he's still creepy. So she tries to hack the police, but they made it unhackable... Online. Lance helps Ollie break in into the server to hack, while Lance is a little nonplussed about breaking into the place he works at. He finds something that helps them find the place. So at the flashbacks, Ollie is pissy about leaving Shado alone, while Slade tells him to think with his brain, instead of his dick. Ollie fights back by saying his dick is smarter then him. Slade trips and nearly falls off a cliff, while Oliver saves him, saying he should be happy he cares. So Roy heads out to work, and he makes a deal to sell some stuff to a criminal, while wanting info. The guy thinks Roy's type in women is the one that beats him up. Man, even people he barely knows knows he's a weenie boy.

Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 23

So he says that someone named Sin knows her. Damn, poor poor Sin. I like Sin. The show, does not. So Diggle is not impressed their main way to find him is skin cream. Too be fair, it's because Diggle's skin is always clear and good. So Felicity finds a way to find him. Bait. She will be the bait. As opposed to Diggle. So Slade in the flashbacks say they will catch the boat, but find its blowing up the island, having found the plane. They head out. So Felicity does her best 'Pretty Woman' impression, while the gang and Lance stalk her. They talk of Laurel, and Lance acts really nice to the Arrow. I admit, I like his scene with Oliver talking about how he still misses Sara, and kicks himself over not saving those girls in time.

Points: 6

So Felicity finds the one flaw in being bait. Serial killer. So Lance heads out and Ollie arrows him. We see the Doll Maker running off while Ollie and Lance chases after him. The Doll Maker catches him by surprise, but before he can kill the Doll Maker, Ollie stops him. But the police stop Ollie from taking down the Doll Maker, cause the police's only job now is to mess up. Nice to know only Lance can do his job. Lance is arrested though. Because in an episode where a man brutally murders women for his fetish, Pike is still worse. So Ollie heads to Moria's trial, while trying to wonder if he can arrow a cop. I say you should. So the Judge finds Moria the devil, and unlike most times, I don't blame him. Even if I like Moria. The DA wants Moria to die. Okay, now that's harsh. She did help save people, but she did help... Meh, we'll hate the DA later, so I hate him.

So Slade starts screaming about Shado while everything explodes around him and Oliver. Oliver is nearly killed, but he sees Slade on fire. HAPPY DREAMS! So Lance is in jail, and Laurel is angry at Lance for trying to stop the serial killer while they are doing the right thing... Catching the Arrow. May I?

https://youtu.be/5hfYJsQAhl0

You fuckers have a job. Protect and serve. Where does that say 'The guy who goes after murders, rapist, and drug dealers? TOP PRIORITY! The serial killer who has killed 10 women? ARREST ANYONE TRYING TO STOP HIM! Man, fuck the entire police force but Lance. Also Fuck Laurel. Well Lance says that Oliver couldn't save Tommy cause he doesn't have super speed. He says that Laurel is guilty for Tommys death, while she tries to bitchslap him with the limpest hand this side of the continent. So Roy heads out to see Sin, who treats Roy the same way I would. A non threat to be pitied. Too bad she runs away when he asks about the Canary. So they have a chase scene that I actually like.

Points: 7

Man, Sin is good. She could be a great fighter with those skills. Too bad she will never ever help. Ever. So Roy chases her to an abounded Clock Tower, where he's taken out. Lance heads to his car, to be taxed by the Doll Maker. Also Laurel is there. The police are as competent as... No, even a joke comparison is bad. So Thea is pissed that her mom may be going on death row, and they head to Channel 52 FUCK YOU to find Lance and Laurel have been kidnapped. They find out where he is held, and Arrow heads out to save them. Roy wakes up to being tied to to see Canary and Sin ready to do horrible things to him. Roy pees himself while they question if he is one of them. Sara finds he's too much of a weenie to be a threat, and let's him go. So Laurel is ready to be killed by the Doll Maker, who Lance tries to get him to kill him. The Doll Maker though, is a dick who likes killing women. That's when Ollie comes in, being all badass. He saves Laurel and Lance, while the Doll Maker runs away. There, he gets his ass kicked by the Canary. He goes donkey kong on her with pipes, but is Arrowed by Ollie. But is killed by the Canary, who runs away.

So Lance leads Laurel away, and she cries about how she got Tommy killed. Well too little too late, I don't care. So Lance puts her in bed cause she's 10 years old, and he thanks Oliver for saving them. Oliver is a little glad he finally gets some credit, and Moria meets with her lawyer. Moria wants her family together, but she says she doesn't want ay court to appear. She has some secrets to hide. So Sara heads to her base to find... Malcolm Merlyn? No, it's some other guy... And he knows Ra's Al Ghul?! When I first heard that, I actually went 'HOLY SHIT' but now, I'm more disappointed. So Sara says fuck off, she says to let her go. He says no, so she kills him. That should help you hide!

So the gang wonder who she is, while Oliver wakes up in a cage. Unlike last time, this isn't a bamboo one! So these pirates seem pretty dangerous on CGI express.

Score: 7. Pretty good, but could be better. https://youtu.be/3suGfhnT2Sg

MVC: Black Canary, cause she is awesome, badass, and I love her.

MSC: Pike. Fuck Pike and his non being in this episode face.

Thoughts: So Black Canary is all great in this episode, with some interesting plot threads of why she is here, while we also learn of Lance can actually be likeable. Let's hope I don't delete this!