User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 36; Lesbian Ninjas are best ninjas.

Now normally, I don't talk about other stuff in my review series of Arrow for long periods of time. But this episode, when first aired, actually made me do something I never did. Look up a character. I knew of every single character this show threw at me who was in the comics, and knew of some who they were based off of... But Nyssa threw me off. I had ZERO idea of her existence prior to this episode. I have no idea why that is. Well, I plan to have a character who knows Nyssa help explain why that is. Everyone, meet Arkham City Ra's Al Ghul!

https://goo.gl/images/9nHV96

Ra's Al Ghul: Thank you Nobody for being on the... Show... Web series... Written... Not important what this is. Basically, the reason why Talia and I never reference Nyssa is because... She's a bitch.

Me: That's a little mean...

Ra's Al Ghul: NO! IT IS KIND! She stole my league from me by seducing all my members... Who happen to be all lesbians.

Me: First, isn't comic Nyssa straight? Plus the games don't seem to make her gay. Second, why is your league made up of nothing but lesbians?

Ra's Al Ghul: First, SHUT UP! Second, I wanted the world's greatest lesbian orgy. Well, they found out about that... And were less then glad to know.

Me: Well I wonder why...

Ra's Al Ghul: AND ANOTHER THING! My role in Young Justice was awful. I would never be friends with Vandal Savage! He is worst then even my mortal nemesis... Doctor Darkk. Fuck that asshole. And another thing, Beware the Batman is without a doubt, the...

Me: Well that's time...

Ra's Al Ghul: SHUT UP! I was about to claim why Batman Begins ruined by character. Pfft, Gotham City...

Me: Well...



To the actual episode.

Heir to the Demon
So we see a woman head to an airport, where she is flagged by being really bad. But she smiled at that kid... Oh, and she murders an entire force of security guards. Okay, she's bad news. So Moria is told how to run her... You know what. The entire Moria thing goes nowhere, makes no sense, and is stupid. So I won't even mention it, even if it goes on for 5 minutes. So Felicity says Tempest is moving up, but that's not important. So Laurel OD'd on every drug EVER and everyone hates her now. Laurel tells her dad the super important secret news. HE CAN SAVE 20% OFF AT GEICO! Also, Sara is alive. Lance farts, and walks away. So Sara does some... Oh man... Do umm... Female and other male viewers... Enjoy this when Stephen does as much as I do when Caity does? Because... Damn. Just... Damn!

So Sara asks if Laurel is fine, and Ollie says 'Meh'. Best news she ever heard. Sara has to go, she has shit to do, people to see, trying to find a way to make DC make her canon. So Ollie is called and Lance wants to see Sara. So now we get... AHHH, AHHH, LANCE FLASHBACKS! FUCK, FUCK, GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!

https://youtu.be/u2ycDWywGls

So we see the Lance family being... Happy. That's more rare then seeing gay leprechauns fucking each over. Young Sara though, is annoying. Caity Lotz seems to think teenagers are chipmunks. Too be fair, as an adult, I think that's how teenagers are at times as well. So Lance and Sara hang out at a bar, where Lance says they can make Sara part of the family again. Sara says nah, and leaves. Ollie checks on her when he sees Nyssa appear. Nyssa heads to Sara... And they kiss.

Points: 8

I am now going to claim why this is one of the best decisions the Arrowverse has ever made. First, this is the first superhero media outside of comics to have an open gay character. That is one already. Second, Sara is one of the rarest breeds in television... The bisexual. Fun fact, they are real! I know, I met some. Lastly, they have used this to make a romantic situation to perfect order, showing how Sara is so important, and makes Nyssa interesting for being in love while doing an important choice. What I'm saying is, Marvel TV makes their gay character... Bleh. When Arrowverse does it, they are a character first. Unless you're a nurse in the 50's. Also, important question, why do guys find women making out sexy? No joke, no one has ever answered that question.

So Ollie goes 'WTF' while Sara says she's kind of confused. She remembers how Nyssa is hear to kill her. So Nyssa and Ollie meet. Ooh, ex's. That's never good.

Oliver: Before we say anything, I approve of same sex love.

Nyssa: Well that's nice of you, but the first thing I thought when I saw you was... Wow, how many orgasams did she fake?

Sara: Nyssa! I never faked any orgasam with Oliver.

Oliver: Yeah, but you should know about Sara faking orgasams.

Nyssa: I can understand Sara being bisexual. But you? I always thought she wanted a man to deal with her, not a boy.

Oliver: Ahh, that's adorable. How long did it come up for you to think of that one?

Nyssa: Longer then your dick.

Oliver: Mines bigger.

Nyssa: I'm a woman.

Oliver: Coulda fooled me.

Sara: Stop or I will kill you both.

Nyssa: ... Does she sound so annoying when she says Kill?

Oliver: I know! She is.

Nyssa: I mean, I love her, but she hogs the covers.

Oliver: I keep on telling her I'm freezing my ass off, but she just mumbles...

Both: I'm sleeping, shut up.

Sara: Oh no... They bonded.

Oliver: Hey, we should go for coffee. Hey, did Sara ever tell you about her dog Sparkles?

Nyssa: Oh my god, I cried at the end.

So they argue about Sara, and Nyssa guilt trips Sara. Girlfriends. Whatever normal, or deadly ninjas, they have the perfect guilt trips. So Felicity finds out that Malcolm is Thea's dad, and confronts Moria. Moria says 'Hah, that's nice. Tell anyone, and they will hate you.' Ahh, poor Moria. Maybe Season 2 Felicity. But Season 4 Felicity can murder a puppy, and no one will bat an eye. So Nyssa and Sara talk of how Sara left, hogging covers, and something about souls. Nyssa wants Sara back, cause she loves Sara. Sara tells her she loves her too, but the league is this weird creepy cousin that pants when he sees them make out, and she wants him out. Well Nyssa can't kil Sara. Stupid love!

Oliver, in a rage that his ex dumped him for... An evil assassin, beats the living shit out of a tire. Also, I don't know whatever to say Kudos or what, but I find it both admirable and weird no one aside from Lance that Sara is bisexual. It's kind of progressive yet unrealistic. Trust me, people are more stupid like that. Well Diggle comes in, saying Laurel was poisoned by Nyssa. Son of a bitch! Nyssa is one of those girlfriends who hates when she sees family. Never date those women. So Sara tells Laurel in the past that she is totally not sucking Ollie's arrow. Sara finds it weird that she wants to marry a guy who banged dozens of women. Oh come on Sara, you probably banged like, a dozen women too. Or will. Depends.

So Sara rubs present Laurel like a creepy when River is stalked by a league of assassin member. But Ollie and Sara catch up with ease, and are a wee bit pissed Nyssa is acting like a bad girlfriend. So they have an awesome car chase scene where Nyssa tries to kill her love. Kinda weird Nyssa. Are you... Bipolar? So Sara tells Lance that well... She likes women.

Lance: Huh... Wait a second... THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

Sara: Huh?

Lance: Those playboys, you always renting that Yoga video, and oggling Mrs. Darcy... You pig!

Sara: Dad, that was you.

Lance: Oh.

So they head out to save River while Laurel and Lance in the flashbacks talk of how everything is great, happy, fun, when they learn the Queen's gambit is gone. Ouch. So we see the leagues worst crime... Breaking into Zoo's. So one boring political scene later, Lance and Sara talk of how Sara likes to fuck women, and Lance acts kind of glad to know someone cared for her. Too bad that person is currently making Ollie look like a good boyfriend. So Sara battles the league members, and one commits suicide rather then talk. Well that's not good. So politics, SKIP!

So Felicity decides to spill the beans. Sara checks her grave, and decides to come back. Looks like Nyssa is under the false impression that when Sara comes back, she won't be sleeping on the couch for like, months. Lance is called by Sara to have them take on Nyssa. Laurel follows Lance. So politics while... OH MY GOD! Stephen Amell has a face that looks like someone just told him his mom and dad died in a plane accident that crashed into a hospital, and the hospital exploded so badly, the debris crushed an elementary school. Just... Wow. So Ollie heads up, and must do his job well.

Oliver: Well, I just want to say that in 2016... I PLAN TO RUN FOR MAYOR!

Nah, that's silly. Instead, he says his mother is... A person. He is so trying not to jump out that window behind him. He also tells her the two most scariest words to someone with thousands of secrets.

I know.

Oliver warns Diggle that Ra's will kill them all if Nyssa dies. Yeah, after season 3 finale, Ra's is my Imperiax's Zoom. So River is glad to see Sara is alive. Thanks for making this murder suicide akward, MOM! GOD! Mothers, am I right? So Sara poisoned herself. Damn. Nyssa decides to kill Sara's family. Worst, GF, ever. Aside from... Tons of others. Maybe top 30? So Nyssa and Ollie battle to decide who is Sara's best ex. On the one hand, Ollie gave great massages and Sara likes touching men's beard stubbles. On the other hand, Nyssa has a great rack, and she knows over 200 sex positions. I'm gonna go with Ollie, he has a tight butt. So Nyssa, depressed, let's Sara go. You almost feel bad for Nyssa. Laurel sees Sara is alive. Well fuck.

So Moria says make... NO, I REFUSE TO DO THAT JOKE! So Ollie is a wee bit pissed that his mom lied about everything... Again, and again... And again. Plus that one time. He also says they are done. It's a sad scene, and you feel bad for the both of them.

Points: 9

So... We finally came to where I find Laurel has actually did something I think has crossed the Moral Event Horizon. Yeah. Everything before, justified, to a small degree. Here? Pure, 100%, unadulterated bitch. She, with ZERO IDEA OF ANYTHING, blames Sara for everything. Just... Wow. Are you claiming your sister, who suffered for 5 years, is the problem to everything?! Just... When Sara tries to say sorry, Laurel tries to hit her with glass. GLASS! So...

Points: 6

I'm sorry... Laurel has become an unlikable bitch. Completely. It's just... Disgusting, really. I am... Less then pleased to see how this all went. If I saw my brother, who I thought was dead for five years, came back, I would hug him and cry. But no... Laurel wants her dead. Wow.

So Slade is less then glad to hear Moria is more popular then Blood. Blood didn't even get to his campaigns against Mexico yet! So Sara, without a home, checks with Ollie to say Laurel hates her now. So they reconcile by making out. Ahh, I need sexy people making out to make me happy.

Score 6: Slightly above average https://youtu.be/6YMPAH67f4o

MVC: Sara. She hits back and makes you feel bad for her with how shit went down. Fast.

MSC: Laurel. Do you have to ask?

Thoughts: From a great beginning, to a bad end, this episode showed promise ruined by Laurel being scum. Still, nice to see Sara and Ollie fucking. Plus, next episode... The one I have been waiting for.