User blog:Nobody700/Flash Reviews: Episode 1; The Fastest Reviewer alive!

Here's how things will go. I will review a Flash episode, then an Arrow. I will not review a Flash episode till I do an Arrow one. So, that's how it will be. The rules are the same, so let's go!

Ahh, the Flash. Considered by many critics to quite possibly not only the best show in the Arrowverse, but the best superhero show on TV ever, not counting the Netflix series... If not, beating them at many points. Is the Flash is as good as they say!? LET'S FIND OUT! THIS IS, THE FLASH!

Pilot
In the city of Central City, Barry asks if you can believe in the impossible. I can't, sorry. I only believe in the possible. Series over. Fine, I will. Seems Barry is the fastest man alive. I bragged about that once. She left me. We see a young Barry getting his ass kicked because they found out about Flashpoint. Barry says he is not fast, and his mom says OMG HIS DAD IS THE FLASH FROM THE 90's, HOLY CRAP! Well Barry notices weird things at his home at night. A blur of yellow and red surrounding his mom. Time for John to go Flash on his ass. Well Barry is thrown far aside, and now it's present, where Barry is super slow. Seems that one of the bandit brothers is causing robberies while Barry is finally there. One of the cops saves him, and he hands the guy food as a present.

He checks out the car tracks and OH MY GOD SHERLOCK! Thank god that never appeared after this episode, cause this show is not Sherlock, and that's coming from someone who doesn't even like Sherlock. Barry is able to know the car just by the tires. Damn, he's good... But is he fast enough to tell? Barry heads to work where Iris says she likes Edge or something. One of the biggest strengths of the series, as you will see, is how in normal dialogue, the characters seem pretty realistic. I would watch this show without the superpowers, that's how good it is. Well Barry says he is super interested in Wells particle accelerator, and says that it can change all of physics forever. Iris mocks him while Joe says leave off the nerd. Barry is able to tell where the tires were, and Iris uses this to let Barry see the particle Accelerator. Huh, that's nice. She mocks him for liking it, but is able to go there and helps him get there. Friendship, TO THE EXTREME!

Iris though, thinks that is true. Too bad Barry finds her hot, and wants to date her. Iris says they are in a brother and sister zone. Well the event begins, and we see Harrison wells, the world's greatest powerwalker in America. Before I start, I want to play this little game called 'Reverse that'. You'll get what I mean. Well someone steals from Iris, and Barry chases after him. Too bad Barry is slower then me, and gets his ass kicked by this Ivy League looking drop out. However the guy is stopped by a cop who Iris dislikes. Eddie Thawne. Oh shit, that last name... Seems pretty innocent. Well Joe and his partner head to the farm, where the partner dislikes Barry. Fuckin Flashpoint. Barry is sad, so he heads back to work to check on the case of his moms murder, and how his dad was arrested for it. Could be worse. Your dad could have actually did it. See? Well Joe and his partner are shot at by the Mardon's, who escapes via plane thanks to his brother who controls the rain.

Also, the particle accelerator begins to go frenzy... And it explodes. Damn it, I hope Harrison got insurance. Seems the plane exploded as well. I love how in later episodes, we learn that on this night, like a thousand crimes were committed, all involving weird ways. Well Iris learns Barry was hit by lightning, and is sad. Now, to the present day! Barry is in a coma while OH SHIT, IT'S THOSE UNIMPORTANT CHARACTERS, AND THEY'RE IMPORTANT NOW! Cisco and Caitlin. Seems Lady Gaga has awakened Barry. Damn, I always knew she was good, but that good? Barry awakens to meet the gang, where Caitlin wants him to pee in a cup.

Points: 6

Lightning gave Barry abs. Umm... Excuse me, it's storming here, and I have a steel rod. BYE! (One bolt later) Never mind, I have a stutter now. Well Wells is in a wheelchair, and says shit went down and OMG GRODD, HOLY SHIT!

Points: 7

That alone, wins a point. Well Harrison says that storms were created by the explosion, and thousands have died. Seems Barry has gained powers. Harrison says that Iris went to see Barry, and Harrison tells him he has to stay to be tested. Barry runs off, and asks if he can keep the sweatshirt. He does. I bet it's in his closet. He heads to Iris, who looks so happy to see Barry walking. Now she can stop worrying about Caitlin making him pee in a cup. The two hang, where Barry seems to see everything go... Slow. Strange. But I bet nothing major. Well a guy heads to a bank, and robs it by creating a storm. Damn, genius! I should try that. Joe has a new partner, that Eddie guy, who heads to the bank with Joe to make a deposit... OF JUSTICE!

Iris tells Barry what happened, and he sees a guy about to grab a knife. Barry super speeds to smack him around, while his hand tells him to masturbate. He begins to run really fast, and he even begins to super speed. Holy crap... He has CGI POWERS?! He heads out to see the S.T.A.R gang and gets his outfit... Holy fuck, that is so damn UGLY! Da fuq?! Who wears that kind of shit? Just... His crotch has a bulge.... God. They want him to run while Cisco gives him a two way monitor. Barry wonders why she isn't smiling, and she tells him her life sucks, so shut up. Harrison says Barry should go easy. Barry says okay. He runs at super speed, so fast he knocks back Cisco. Damn son, almost as fast as me when my GF says she is feeling naughty. He however, gets flashbacks of him seeing a man in yellow, and crashes, breaking his hand. Ouch.

The people at the bank tell of how the guy created a storm in the bank. Eddie says this has happened many times, and everyone tells the same story, and has video evidence. Police ignore it. Because they are stupid. Still, they find a license plate. Well it seems Barry is healing rather fast, and he mentions he remembers a man in yellow who murdered his mom. Well Eddie hangs with Iris, and it's revealed they are in a relationship. Barry finds out, and now Barry is sad. Iris says to keep the secret...

Ahh, one of the biggest flaws of the Flash. Secrets. You will find out, trust me.

Well Barry is pissed to see this, because he likes Iris a lot and Eddie is a stupid fart face. Barry saves Iris from a car crash, and catches up with a criminal. He takes him out with ease, and the man gets out, bothered. The two confront each other, and he goes all storm on Barry's ass. Barry sees a massive explosion, and is freaked out, letting the man escape. Joe comes in, asking what the hell, and tells everyone to run away when danger is around. He tells Joe he saw what happened... It was Clyde Mardon. The guy is alive, and is throwing weather problems at everyone. Joe has a face that says 'What the fuck?' Barry is disappointed Joe doesn't believe him, and Joe says it was his dad murdering his mom.

He rants at Barry, to see the obvious as what it is. Eddie comes in, to say the guy looks exactly like Clyde. Joe feels like this.

https://youtu.be/nWS4Eu8E2z4

Well Barry is pissed at Harrison, and asks WTF. Harrison reveals that the explosion may have gave people super powers. Nearly all of the city has been hit with the wave, and seeing as how a few million people live there... That's a lot of people. Barry is pissed, and says he has to stop the guy. Harrison says they can't stop him, and he says that Barry can help billions with his body. Barry is no hero, he's a Guinea pig.

Reverse Moment: 1

That's important to remember. Past Barry heads out to find his dad being arrested, and he learns that his mom is dead. Harsh. Well he super speeds away, all the way to Starling City. He tells Ollie the entire story of how he became the impossible, where Ollie asks what's wrong? Barry says he wants to be more, and when he got the choice, he fucked up. Can he be a hero? Oliver says that Barry was chosen by the Lightning. That's stupid... Unless you read the comics, and know that's true. He says that Barry can be a real hero, helping people in anyway... As a flash. He also says to wear a mask. He heads out, flying away with an arrow, that Barry finds cool. He speeds away, and even Ollie finds that cool.

Points: 8

Well, time for Oliver to see how Sara is after their victory over the Count. Oh... I'll get to that. Well Barry says he needs help to save Central City from the meta humans. Cisco says he has a suit. It can let Barry travel without being set on fire, and can be used to help Barry be found. Caitlin says she can find Weather Man at a farm. Joe and Eddie head to the barn, where Clyde is there to say he has become something else. He is God. He begins to create a storm that knocks them back, and he is God. Joe says why does God need to rob banks? Easy, to get a starship.

https://youtu.be/WYW_lPlekiQ

To get money, duh! Well Clyde decides that if he is God, he's Old Testament god, and plans to destroy Central City with a tornado. Joe almost dies till Barry saves him with his speed. Barry has to stop the tornado, and decides to become faster then a tornado. If he can be fast enough to do it, he can. But if he isn't, he will die. He speeds around it, and Clyde tries to stop Barry. Harrison tells Barry that he fucked up everything, and that Barry can fix everything he did. He must run.

Reverse Moment: 2

Barry runs as fast as he can, and stops the tornado. Clyde is impressed, and is about to kill Barry when Joe shoots him. Joe finds out Barry has superpowers. While the barn is destroyed, Joe says that Barry is like lightning, and apologizes for thinking Barry was insane, when he can now outrun every car in the world. Joe then tells Barry not to tell Iris for her protection.

I'm sorry, WHAT?! HOW WILL THAT PROTECT IRIS? I never got that stupid shit. 'If I tell them, they are in danger.' HOW?! HOW?! No, really? They know you are a hero, and can easily use it to defend themselves from any threat you will hide from them. What, afraid your bad guys will find your secret, and hurt them? OF COURSE THEY WILL! Telling them can PREVENT IT! When Ollie says his family can't find out about his ability, he did it because he was scared of how they would react to him killing. Here, it's to 'protect Iris'. What a load of trash. TELL IRIS! See what I said about secrets? Most of the time, THEY MAKE NO SENSE!

Points: 7

God, fuck that protection bullshit. Well Barry heads out to see his dad in jail. Barry tells his dad he got into a fight after his coma. He tells his dad he knows he didn't kill his mom, and Henry is good. Barry says he now has the ability to save his dad. Henry says that Barry should let it go. However, Barry says that while he was stuck, he can now run fast enough to escape it. Cisco gives a lightning emblem to the suit, because it's cool. The best reason for ANYTHING! While Barry and Harry say they love each other, Oliver should be finding the corpse of Sara. Barry says he is the fastest man alive, and plans to become the Flash, to save the people of Central City.

Well, Harrison presses a button, and goes into a secret room. He then GETS UP, and takes HIS GLASSES OFF, and presses A BUTTON that shows him THE FUTURE where Barry is MISSING!

Reverse Moment: 5

Score: 7. Pretty good, but could be better. https://youtu.be/3suGfhnT2Sg

MVC: Barry, for being the fastest man alive, and so damn likeable.

MSC: Joe, for the secret shit.

Thoughts: This was a fast review, for a fast show! Barry must save Central City with his new powers, a stupid secret is made, and Harrison is as shady as Eminem. Wonder how things will expand? Well don't, cause I plan to head on from here as fast as Barry!