User blog:Nobody700/Arrow Reviews: Episode 35; A shaky review. GET IT?!

So season 5 is on, but this review series is still on Season 2, and only halfway done! So, let's get to our review.

Tremors
So at prison, we see a guy who meets up with Bronze Tiger, and begins telling him his life story. He rips apart his skin to hand the guy metal weapons. Bronze Tiger has his tiger claws! So Ollie makes Roy slap the water water (Kinda gay) and Ollie tells Roy he is just like Slade. If he was a weenie. Sara in the back of the flashes tells Ollie not to tell Slade he was the reason they lost their Asian fanbase. So Thea and Moria hang out, where Moria seems to be on a date with Walter. Well they fail feminism forever by talking about Roy, the opposite of feminism. So Lance heads out to see Laurel, who spent all her money on Booze. Lance decides to free her from booze (No! Don't! She paid for my beach home.) but she says no. Thank god, now I can buy another beach house just for my stuffed pony collection.

So Ollie and the others refrence how Bronze Tiger has a lame name, and he seems to threaten... Oh fuck, that H.I.V.E guy. Man, thanks for reminding me of season 4. So he wants Bronze to steal an object for him. A very powerful weapon. Ahh, let me guess... Season 4...



Okay, no more jokes. So Ollie teaches Roy how not to break necks. Roy gets angry, and goes Roy smash. Roy wants to fight bad guys, and Ollie agrees. Watching him fail would be classic. So Moria heads out to find Walter and some loser telling her Blood will fuck the city up with his idea of a thing called 'Ice Town'. They want her to run for Mayor. First...

https://youtu.be/YIlL0T2yTss

Second, that is an awful idea. I like Moria (I think we gathered all that) but the city hates her. She has no chance as mayor. That's like if I was found having murdered a church group. I am able to get off due to circumstantial evidence, buts obvious I did it. So my next idea... IS TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT! Actually, with our two candidates, I may stand a chance. But I do want a wall. AT CANADA! NO CANUCKS!

So Lance takes Laurel out for her dinner... AT AN AA MEETING!

https://youtu.be/zr74Xda3tHw

So she runs off, angry. Okay Laurel, you went from 'I HATE YOU OLIVER FOR BEING TORTURED FOR 5 YEARS' to 'I am just hear for a love triangle' to 'I HATE YOU ARROW FOR SAVING LIVES' to no... Uber bitch 'SHUT UP, I WANT TO MAKE BAD CHOICES!' You should shut up, and get your life together. AA Meetings help! But no, she has no problem. She just likes doing drugs and drinking too much.

So the gang find out that the Bronze Tiger is hanging out at Malcolm's place, and Ollie sees a picture of Tommy. He stops, and you can see he is pained to see it. But trouble is afoot in the garage, and they head out. In it.... The earthquake device. Son of a bitch. Well, Ollie is pissed to see it, and they fight. Roy goes all super Roy on them, while Ollie kicks Tiger's ass. Well Roy spends his time beating up one guy instead of helping. So looks like Ollie needs to kill Roy. Well he tells the gang about it, and how he fucked up Slade's life. So the next one should be how he had a Russian fight club. So Ollie and Sara learn Slade wants to blow up the boat. That's bad.

Roy heads out to tell Thea to skip town. She wants to know why, and he says 'Mumble mumble'. He begins to hurt her, and well... Crazy Roy is no fun. Give me weenie boy back! So Laurel finds her black best friend has succeeded in life because she isn't friends with Laurel anymore. So Thea and the others have some fun time with life, unaware shit is about to go down. Ollie and Roy argue about truth. Honestly, I usually don't get the 'can't let my family know I have superpowers' but in Ollie's case, I get it. Would you tell your family you spend your nights MURDERING people? Well Roy goes OVERACTING MODE and beats up Ollie. Too unrealistic.

Diggle tells Ollie to just let Roy die, but for the first time in forever, Ollie says no, and isn't a moron. Roy can be fixed. Well seems Laurel is drunk at the club. I know drunks, and Laurel is the 'I'm a dick' and a little bit of slut drunk. Better then violent drunk, or even worse... Adorable drunk. Adorable drunks make me unable to do anything. Trust me, I will hate reviewing Episode 12 of the Flash for that reason. So Slade finds the rocket launchers, and plans to blow it up with it. You know, I'm surprised Slade never tried destroying Starling with his own pair of them. Would be brutal reminder of good times, no? So Moria and Thea talk of destroyed cities. Bleh. So Bronze Tiger hands the guy what he wants, and he tells him not to head to a certain country.

DO THE OPPOSITE! So Roy battles Bronze Tiger while the H.I.V.E guy activates the machine because he is an asshole. Oliver can't open the container, and to stop Roy from being crazy, he reveals his identity, and convinces him to fight. Because this episode needs it, and it's kind of a good speech, I'll make it count.

Points: 6

So Roy opens it, and Ollie throws a teenie tiny bomb in it, causing it to explode. Roy praises Oliver as his lord and savior, with Oliver glad that someone appreciates him for once. Felicity outs herself as a food alcoholic, and the others say they should kill Roy. Hmm... Nah, I'll be fair. Ollie says they can use him as a tool. I'll count that!

Poor Stupid Roy Moment: 32

Slade goes nuts on Ollie, with Oliver deciding to tell the truth. OR FLAT OUT LIE! He says Shado wanted to suck his dick, give him rainbow love, and give him all the money in the world. Also, go home. Slade, because he is crazy, thinks this makes perfect sense and stops being crazy in favor of being... Crazy. I will admit, what Ollie did was a Dick move, and may have made things worse in the long run. Well Walter enters the house, and they agree to kill Malcolm. Again. Somehow. So Tiger is back in jail, when we see Amanda is there. She wants him for suicide squad. His reply is 'One time, and I get back to my movie career.' Her's is 'Oh shit, why do movies fuck us over?'

So Roy worries Oliver will kill him. Ollie says nah, he's certain Roy sucks so badly, Thea won't be in danger of getting pregnant. He also says that the two most important people in his life are here. Matt Murdock and Jessica Jones. Okay, maybe Oliver wants to be part of the Defenders.

Ollie: I am so much better then that Iron Fist guy!

Iron Fist: I use Chi to battle. I'm basically Daredevil who hits as hard as Luke Cage!

Oliver: Well I have abs.

Jessica: I like Oliver more!

So the team (Seriously, every hero group needs a team name. I'm still pissed about Young Justice being called in show... The team.) Laurel is so shit faced, Sara herself comes in just to say... What the fuck.

Score 6: Slightly above average https://youtu.be/6YMPAH67f4o

MVC: Oliver. He is badass and gives nice speeches. Also, he mocks Roy a lot.

MSC: Laurel. You are an alcoholic, and as someone who in real life knows alcoholics, they are a sad sight to see.

Thoughts: Roy needing help is considered very nicely with both sides and for once, Oliver actually has the moral high ground over Diggle and Felicity. Sadly, not only will that be followed, but the show will forget that. The flashbacks are nice, I guess. Plus, SARA! YAY!